Who I want to be...

Some experiences I've had over the past week have caused me to do a lot of self reflection. I've been thinking a lot about the kind of person I want to be. If I were to die tomorrow how would people remember me? What would be my legacy? Would anyone say their life was better for having known me? I know this sounds weird but I feel like I've been living one accomplishment to the next, all the while telling myself, "when I'm done with grad school I'll have time to be a better friend and sister." Or "when I don't have to work as much I'll have time to serve others." One of my best excuses is, "when we are settled in our careers and don't have to worry about finances as much I'll be a more positive happier person." But I'm beginning to realize that there will always be some excuse, some obstacle, that I say is in my way making it hard for me to be the kind of person I want to be.
I want to be the kind, reliable friend that everyone knows they can turn to.

I want to be positive and happy, and find the beauty and good in every day and every situation.

I want to be the kind of person who exhausts themselves serving others, without thinking what I will receive in return.

I want others to feel the love God has for them through me.

I want to be the kind of person who only says nice things about others, and never participates in gossip.

I want to be known as confident and spontaneous, while at the same time reliable and steadfast.

I want to be patient and forgiving.

There are so many things I want to be and feel like I'm so far away from the kind of person I long to be. I know there is a time and a season for all things, and that right now it's my time to get as much education as I can and to work to support Jeremy and I as he pursues his dental career. But I can't help but thinking that our days are numbered and nobody knows when their time will be up. I don't want to be so focused on "later" that I never become the kind of person I want to be today. I have made it my renewed goal to live in the moment and stop putting off till tomorrow who I'm capable of being today!